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THE ART OF BEING WITH
Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 6:03PM THE ART OF BEING WITH by Larry Yeagley
| Theme: Though we may experience grief for a reason in our lives, Jesus heals our brokenness so that we can be instruments of healing to others |
| Theme Text: 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 |
| Presentation Notes: Throughout the following outline numbers in parentheses (1), (2), (3) will indicate illustrations found in the section called Sermon Illumination. You may want to use a personal illustration instead. |
You might remember moments in which you were called to be with a friend who had lost a wife or husband, child or parent. What can you say, do, or propose at such a moment? There is a strong inclination to say: “Don’t cry; the one you loved is in the hands of God.” “Don’t be sad because there are so many good things left worth living for.” But are we ready to really experience our powerlessness in the face of death and say: “I do not understand. I do not know what to do but I am here with you.” Are we willing to not run away from the pain, to not get busy when there is nothing to do and instead stand rather in the face of death together with those who grieve? (Nouwen, 1974, pp. 34, 35)It is much easier to sit at a computer laying plans for the church, but it is very difficult to walk with and sit with a friend in fresh grief. It would have been more convenient for Jesus to stay in heaven, but He put himself out for us. Guidelines for Being With As I visit with church groups I am impressed that Christian people really desire to be with those who grieve, but they really feel awkward and incompetent. Perhaps a few guidelines for ministering to the grieving will ease the fears of doing the wrong things.
- Grief is not a sign of weak faith. Running away from grief can actually prolong the pain. Allow people to grieve because it is a healthy attempt to regain equilibrium after a devastating blow.
- Grief is normal. It is a gradual movement from life out of focus to refocus. It takes time. C.S. Lewis likened it to the warming of a room or the coming of daylight.
- Anticipate the needs of the grieving family. Never say, “Call me if I can do anything to help you.” Initiate the acts of helping.
- Talk about the person who is missing. Grieving families need to know that the life of their loved one was of value and that he or she still impacts on the lives of others. Reviewing the relationship is a vital part of the grief. Your talking about the one who died helps the family to do that reviewing. (2)
- The greatest tool you have is a listening ear. Listening love, quietly and patiently hearing a person’s pain is just as effective as the use of Scripture and prayer. (3)
- Temporary loss of faith is very common when death occurs. Don’t be shocked when your Christian friend expresses doubts about God’s existence or lacks interest in the details of life. When death strikes a family, the members of the family are looking at God through the shadows of their own sorrow. Their view of God is distorted. They may doubt that God loves them. They may not see that He has a purpose for their life. This is temporary. Your attitudes and actions of acceptance can renew the grieving person’s conviction that God is present. If you are present with them, comfortable with their agony and not eager to make them better so you can be comfortable, and if you listen nonjudgmentally, their faith will be restored. Your steadying love will make you a living reminder of Jesus.
- Remember that there are three types of ministry to the grieving. Ministry of word is important. You should ask God to give you words to speak and the wisdom to know when to be silent. If God promised to give you words to speak when you are called before earthly kings, He will surely give you the right words to speak when you sit with the children of the King of kings. Ministry of presence is more than being physically present with a grieving person. It is being there because you want to be there. Grieving people are very perceptive. They can sense your reticence. Ministry of absence happens when you have truly been present with a person. There is a time to leave. If you have been present with a person in every sense of the word, the Holy Spirit will take what you have left behind—your words, your silence, your tears, your touch—and turn them into a ministry you could never have done by staying longer.
Purity in this Corrupt Age
Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 10:06AM Purity in This Corrupt Age
Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. Ps. 24:3, 4
The safeguards of our purity must be watchfulness and prayer.
We are living in an atmosphere of satanic witchery. The enemy will weave a spell of licentiousness around every soul that is not barricaded by the grace of Christ. Temptations will come; but if we watch against the enemy, and maintain the balance of self-control and purity, the seducing spirits will have no influence over us. Those who do nothing to encourage temptation will have strength to withstand it when it comes.
If they do not willfully rush into danger, and needlessly place themselves in the way of temptation, if they shun evil influences and vicious society, and then are unavoidably compelled to be in dangerous company, they will have strength of character to stand for the right and to preserve principle, and come forth in the strength of God with their morals untainted. If youth who have been properly educated make God their trust, their moral powers will stand the most powerful test.
God’s elect must stand untainted amid the corruptions teeming around them in these last days. . . . The Spirit of God should have perfect control, influencing every action.
Those who enter upon active life with firm principles will be prepared to stand unsullied amid the moral pollutions of this corrupt age.
“Who, O Lord, shall stand when thou appearest?” Only those who have clean hands and a pure heart shall abide in the day of His coming. . . . As you hope to be finally exalted to join the society of sinless angels and to live in an atmosphere where there is not the least taint of sin, seek purity; for nothing else will abide the searching test of the day of God and be received into a pure and holy heaven.
From My Life Today - Page 72 (Ellen G. White)
Modern Heroes
Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 10:04AM Modern Heroes
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Prov. 16:32
He has conquered self–the strongest foe man has to meet. The highest evidence of nobility in a Christian is self-control. He who can stand unmoved amid a storm of abuse is one of God’s heroes. . . .
He who has learned to rule his spirit will rise above the slights, the rebuffs, the annoyances to which we are daily exposed, and these will cease to cast a gloom over his spirit.
It is God’s purpose that the kingly power of sanctified reason, controlled by divine grace, shall bear sway in the lives of human beings. He who rules his spirit is in possession of this power.
The man or woman who preserves the balance of the mind when tempted to indulge passion, stands higher in the sight of God and heavenly angels than the most renowned general that ever led an army to battle and to victory.
What young men and women need is Christian heroism. God’s Word declares that he that ruleth his spirit is better than he that taketh a city. To rule the spirit means to keep self under discipline. . . . They need to seek earnestly to bring into their lives the perfection that is seen in the life of the Saviour, so that when Christ shall come, they will be prepared to enter in through the gates into the city of God. God’s abounding love and presence in the heart will give the power of self-control and will mold and fashion the mind and character. The grace of Christ in the life will direct the aims and purposes and capabilities into channels that will give moral and spiritual power–power which the youth will not have to leave in this world, but which they can carry with them into the future life and retain through the eternal ages.
From My Life Today - Page 70 (Ellen G. White)
Walk by Faith
Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 9:41AM Walk by Faith
For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:7
We are to live, not to elevate ourselves, but that we may, as God’s little children, do to the very best of our ability the work that He has committed to us. It is our business to give a right impression to others. We are preparing for eternity, for the sanitarium above, where the Great Physician shall wipe away the tears from every eye, and where the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nation.
Let us all take hold of Christ Jesus by a living faith, and walk in humility of mind. Then the grace of God will be revealed in us, and we shall see of His salvation. We shall greet the holy family of the redeemed. . . . We shall touch our golden harps, and heaven will ring with rich music. We shall cast our glittering crowns at His feet and give glory to Him who has overcome in our behalf.
There may be some things here that we do not understand. Some things in the Bible may appear to us mysterious, because they are beyond our finite comprehension. But as our Saviour leads us by the living waters, He will make clear to our minds that which was not before clearly understood.
As I think of the future glory of heaven, I feel an intense desire that every living soul may know about it. . . . I long to hold Him up as the mighty Healer. . . .
It means much to us whether we are in pursuit of the heavenly things or of the earthly. The earthly will soon pass away. In these days there is great destruction of earthly treasures. There are “earthquakes in divers places,” and trouble and difficulties are seen on every hand. But it is our privilege to be preparing to become members of the heavenly family, children of the heavenly King.
From My Life Today - Page 342 (Ellen G. White)
